The Full Circle

2 11 2006

Life in a B-School is no walk in the park. I learnt this the only way it could be. The summer internship process is to start in a few days here. I will fondly remember them as some of the most traumatic days in my life.

“shortlist aa gaya dost ….CTS…..is mein bhi kaat gaya” shouted a voice in the corridor.

my heart began to beat a little faster. The eeriness of GH3 made it a little harder for me to silence the excitement.

‘Please…god.. atleast now…’

Fear made me stay back. I opened up the ‘summers’ folder…quickly scanned the folder for the CTS application. Went through the answers .

‘No… nothing wrong .. here’

shut down my comp. The entire afternoon was spent in contemplation. went down for the 4.15 pm lecture. The board remained a blur throughout.

The previous nine companies had ditched me. I was one of the last 10 to be shortlisted. I had company in my roomie. We kept each other good company in fact. We never had to console each other, because both were in the same boat, heading nowhere.

s…sanj.. saur.. shiv…..

The weight pulled me down. It was becoming difficult to put on a brave face. The past seemed to have suddenly lost meaning. I walked straight on, fighting to keep the tears back. I did not want to call up home.

The rumination did not help much either. It was sometime later that evening that I got my first shortlist. It wasn’t a miracle. Everyone who applied were shortlisted. but comforting… yes….

Now, as I write this blog, with a PPO from EY (one of the 5 companies to have shortlisted me, including the one above) I can’t help but laugh to myself……. Life and the box of chocolates.

Vikky … yeah… I guess I did come the full circle.

Juniors……well…chuck it… Who am I to be advising anyway?……Enjoy the coming week.

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To Home with Love…

26 10 2005

Right now I am sitting in front of my comp in Room No 132, GH3, XLRI School of Management. Multitude of thoughts running through my head. “Fight the fear, life is bigger than all the tiny failures……..…still”
There are things out there beyond the thought process. There is God; there is the multitude of angels, constantly being sent out to carry out his mysterious deeds. Then there is family.
The day is a Wednesday. Its placement season here. I have applied to almost all companies that have hit the campus. The whole day’s been scary. Shortlist after shortlist hitting the notice boards, none carrying my appellation. I expected to make it to a few, some of them really low on my pecking order (List of choices). The falls really shaken me…
I remember my last year in college, when I was placed in the first company that hit campus. Never did I realise the pain which the others who were yet to get placed went through. The pain of not getting into a company for a long time. The pain of facing rejections day after day. The doubts running through your head. The wild speculations. People all around talking of facing interviews and you not even being given the ticket to watch it. Joining a conversation to only realise later that you have nothing to contribute. Sitting alone in your room contemplating. Looking at people make the whole process seem like Childs play. Wondering what went wrong on ur side.

I have been going through something similar today. You smile on the outside, but inside it stings, stings sharp. Every word is thought over twice. Other people wary of hurting my ego, watching their words. Why the change overnight? Should I even have applied to these companies?
Then you get the call….. Home. “Why do u sound so worried?” ”Everything will turn out alright” “We’ll pray for you”….. There are times that one gets so full of himself that when he hits the trough…he finds himself all alone. Bless u dad for being when I most needed you…. Bless u mom for being that angel from god, bless u bro for cutting out the jungle in front of me….bless u Joe for making me feel responsible… and Varkeychaya…. Keep doing the Tango!