You are an Inspiration!

12 05 2009

Hahahaha!

Some mercy for 7 months of hard living! Truth be told, nothing irks me more! At best, I smile and treat it as a compliment.

It’s not been easy. A fat cheque at the end of every month lets you know your place in society. All that remains now is a hazy memory of how it felt. I hope to get there someday. A depleting bank balance ain’t helping the conviction. I have begun collecting bills and tracking expenses. Trying to cut costs and prolong survival. Asking Dad money would be akin to surrender. The parties are still happening, but not all.

It might not have been a wise decision, especially the timing. But who was I to predict a recession down the corner. But now, existentialistic as it may sound, I’m forced to prove the decision right. There is no other choice, but a humble surrender to the torrential current of life.

There has been work. I have received payments. But nowhere close to what I would have earned had I continued my corporate career. but nothing comes close to the rushes I feel everyday with everyday tasks. Rushes I’d never felt working out of my cubicle on the 13th floor.

I have reached this stage where I’m forced to be at my maximum. Each peak giving me the acceleration for the next climb. The speed is exhilarating!

Entrepreneurship is definitely the ultimate ride!





Tap Dance!!!!

30 08 2007
Its that feeling again
that short step
that graceful recovery
that fall from gracethat knowing feeling
that distant echo
of having gone through it all before
that free fall

hold on.
ave that beauty
to step out of that thick casket
to stop the rot

that one big joke
everyone takes refuge in
To be laughed at
mocked at
till that very concept of self
dissolves in the joy
of being the joker

that cave to hide in
that person to become
those people to love
them feelings to despise

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The Yearbook Fiasco

25 03 2007

Working on the yearbook has been a frustrating experience. I’m glad it’s over or is it??. Let me not be diplomatic about it, it was shitty work and I have begun to loathe it.

A kaleidoscope of memories which has stamped the frustration deep in.

*********************

“What is your justification in a core committee?”
“Why not?”
“Because there was never a core committee…..There’s no one who’s stuck till the end!!!!”

*********************

“I wish he had helped me in the beginning. I’ve called him so many times.”
“He told me that he’d wanted to be on the core team right from the beginning. What was the justification for not taking him anyway?”
“He was in the design team right from the beginning!!!!!”
“Come on.. Its only natural… anyone would want to be on the core committee…”
“but… I have consulted him on all design issues…”
“Still come on… who wouldn’t want to be part of the core committee….”

**********************

“The CD… I ll take care of it.. I’ve taken responsibility right???”….

**********************

“Ek ghar mein dho yearbook kyun?”

**********************

“Yeah… we have the money. If you reach jampot, we’ll be able to give a hard copy. The printer needs a maximum of 10 days. We ll ask him if he can do it in a week. It should be possible. Meanwhile you reach jampot…..”

**********************

Learnings
The economics of the yearbook. Friends can turn enemies just because they have a better incentive. Worse when they turn to emotional means of coaxing you to work.

Its not only passion that drives work, a certain amount of responsibility chips in. There have been numerous occasions where I have settled for the Softcopy.

***********************

Yet despite all this… there are some who go the extra distance to help you out. I would like to mention Tuhin and many others in this regard, who helped without much of an incentive, just the pleasure of carrying memories home. God bless.

But yes……….. The “credits” page “means” a lot.

p.s.
I think finally the printer guy deserves a two page ad in the yearbook. He might end up shelling 30 k from his own pocket because the batch of 2007 decided to save some money for the “lean” times ahead of them.

Yes… A charity show to aid the cause of to-be corporate managers.
I know my blog is not much read.. but here goes…. Heres to you Mr Krishna

Goel Printers (9431180077)





The Full Circle

2 11 2006

Life in a B-School is no walk in the park. I learnt this the only way it could be. The summer internship process is to start in a few days here. I will fondly remember them as some of the most traumatic days in my life.

“shortlist aa gaya dost ….CTS…..is mein bhi kaat gaya” shouted a voice in the corridor.

my heart began to beat a little faster. The eeriness of GH3 made it a little harder for me to silence the excitement.

‘Please…god.. atleast now…’

Fear made me stay back. I opened up the ‘summers’ folder…quickly scanned the folder for the CTS application. Went through the answers .

‘No… nothing wrong .. here’

shut down my comp. The entire afternoon was spent in contemplation. went down for the 4.15 pm lecture. The board remained a blur throughout.

The previous nine companies had ditched me. I was one of the last 10 to be shortlisted. I had company in my roomie. We kept each other good company in fact. We never had to console each other, because both were in the same boat, heading nowhere.

s…sanj.. saur.. shiv…..

The weight pulled me down. It was becoming difficult to put on a brave face. The past seemed to have suddenly lost meaning. I walked straight on, fighting to keep the tears back. I did not want to call up home.

The rumination did not help much either. It was sometime later that evening that I got my first shortlist. It wasn’t a miracle. Everyone who applied were shortlisted. but comforting… yes….

Now, as I write this blog, with a PPO from EY (one of the 5 companies to have shortlisted me, including the one above) I can’t help but laugh to myself……. Life and the box of chocolates.

Vikky … yeah… I guess I did come the full circle.

Juniors……well…chuck it… Who am I to be advising anyway?……Enjoy the coming week.





Keep on the Firing Line.

6 08 2006


I hope to have been a great friend.
When everyday, it becomes a struggle
I question if it was the way
It was meant to be.

I will never know the answer
I will rest in the quiet ruminations
Of questioning my being
Of understanding the man I am

I have ditched friends before
For more selfish reasons
And brushed aside the guilt
Leaving behind the shrapnel

Will leave the cleaning for another day
When I probe my self for the carelessness
And ask my self for forgiveness
For now, it is just time and me.






Summer of 2006…..GET MOVING !!

18 04 2006

…”Summer of 2006″ …. I have it scribbled across the first page of my Summer Internship notebook. Started expecting the flow to be real smooth….right now bottlenecks all around. I guess its upto me to get around them…
An amazing project …lot to look forward to …a clear deliverable…..Everythings perfect….xcept
(Very Confidential !!! sorry…..)
Having to deal with the first Job. had a lot of expectations …….still do……but several closely held beliefs came crashing down.

“One cant be that Jobless !!”
Look at me Now………guess blogging will become more regular now

They definitely can’t leave me on my own !!”
(Coughing) If its about company, you have the desktop cat….. its upto to you to make your mark. Start with cutting wood for the pencil.

Quality work will be recognised ..”
not disproved yet………will see to it that it is not…..for now it still ain’t a myth….

Its not that I have nothing to do….I have lots to do in the Future ……theres this bottle neck in the fray. For all the “Operations” I learnt….this one seems to be THE ONE. Only time will tell…..

I ll fight …..will squeeze out of..it…………. especially..when I have no other option.

Right now there’s blogger and stumble upon toolbar

….He He……..Thank God for small mercies.





The concept of NOT going around…

22 03 2006

I am single. Not committed. In the society I grew up in, it would be considered quite normal. (quite a dismal picture actually) but where I’m now. Whattttttt ? Seriously ?? (single eyebrow raised!).

“U ….going around?”
…negative
“Seriously……..U must be jokin !!”
…negative
(or if the persons more on the “wittier” side
“Seriously…..come on…There must be some guy out there who likes u”)

The next 2 seconds are a nightmare. picture myself on my knees, outstretched arms
but…….people …..understand !!!!
Yeah, Somehow people don’t seem to understand the simple fact that I haven’t met the girl of my dreams. or rather “available” (talk about lingo …) girl of my dreams. It happens.
The next stage is the funniest. They give u the look reserved for people walking the gang plank.

“Not planning to go for the arranged stuff, are you?”. Let me confess here, I’ve always answered “no.”

The truth…….. in an other 6 – 7 yrs. (Hopefully!) btw You are all invited for the answer.

Can I blame it on my schooling?…. No…. happiest days of my life. Crushes have happened. But that’s all thats happened. Quite Sad. but status quo remains…

as long as I m okay with it.
…affirmative.





A tribute to Sir Percy Blakeney…

13 12 2005

I am an engineer. Confident about what I know, and simply not bothered bout the rest. I don’t believe in volume. Volume is good for Music. When it comes to my trap, the lower the better. I know what I m doing. I know why I do it. If the others go flabbergasted about why I did something the way I did it, its their problem.

I take responsibility. Responsibility which I have been entrusted with. Responsibility which I have taken up. I don’t believe in blaming others. Come to think of it. I advise ….only….if and only if the other is not wise to learn it on his own. In short, I think of solutions, Solutions to the madness around.

If people don’t want my solutions…. That’s again… their problem. I have nothing to lose. A share of the limelight has never been on the “To grab” list for me.

Some of the reasons, which have kept me away from Class Participation, the phenomenon that’s the rage of the season. The fight to see who can be the loudest. They are awarded marks for that!!! Somehow leaves me astounded…… marks for volume in class… Now what kind of pedagogy is that?

I don’t mind being a sucker. Like I said, I know what I m. The others view aint my problem. It is quite a life. Being the sucker, has its share of fun… in fact more.. than its share. Carrying it with me will be the hard part. A tribute to Sir Percy Blakeney.





Of Pigeons and Statues…

30 08 2005

I’ve always had roles around me who stand out in my memory. Of the lot, one of the most prominent would be Mr. Witty, who thrives on the happiness of others. He takes every possible opportunity to ridicule the other. Every chance, to bring out the satire. It could be imitation or plain verbal abuse. In most cases, he has his own loyal following who laugh at his every “joke”. Who seem to have the time of their lives. A common strand running through this true hearted group is one, their poor sense of humour, and two, their very poor sense of humour.
I could never stand Mr Witty And as far as I know, the best strategy for confronting him is not confronting him. Avoidance. He can always take your case, be it your best day, and (God have mercy on you!) your worst! What they don’t realise is the fact that it is not because of ignorance that he is not being hurled revilements in return, but because of decency. The refusal to go down to Mr Witty’s modus operandi. In most cases, Mr Witty never realises this and it often takes a good, brave friend to enlighten him.
Mr Witty is a role and not a character. All of us have been him at some point of our lives. Some of us are/were lucky to get a brave friend to tell us. I, for one, am one of them. Owe a lot to these friends of mine, for telling me how irritating I could get. Seriously a lot.
Sometimes ridicule is good. It helps in the team building process. As a matter of policy, I don’t take the case of someone for something he/she can’t change. You really have to be in the other persons shoe to feel the desperation, to feel the pain. To know, that you can’t do anything about it and you are stuck with it for life. Physical attributes for one. I, myself, have been in similar positions plenty of times. Target of friends and family.
There have been moments. In the case of my younger bro, for instance, I would have just come up with the most irritating line. Then realise how I felt when my brother did that to me. And retrace.
Sometimes u get to be the pigeon and sometimes ………..u are the statue.





Bumpy Ride Ahead !!

22 08 2005

We have a hectic week ahead. Loads of submissions and projects to complete. The whole class is totally freaked out. Hmm… that includes me. We are trying not to think of the days to come. We’ll wait. Wait for it to hit us. Right now, there’s just one plan. Think of one project at a time. So far, so good. Pray is gonna hit me hard. I can almost feel the blow coming. I’m wearing all protection now and trying to make it as soft as possible.
I’ll survive …